Tongue-In-Cheeky Travel Tip: The Key to Pleasing Parisians

I shall try not to bite my tongue. And Pleasing Parisians? That there’s a triple entendre:
1) “pleasing” as a verb
2) “pleasing” as an adjective
and 3) “please-ing” as in saying “please”

I know I know, it’s a national pastime here in the states to gripe and moan about how very ruuuude the French are, and here I am daring to remedy this impression, or even worse, point a finger back at us….ahem….for eliciting the infamous snubs. But here goes, and I actually think you may agree with these simple tips for enjoying the beautiful and delicious people of France as well as the obvious pleasures of their cuisine, architecture, countryside and art.

I’ve been visiting Paris for a while now 😉 (me, center)

I’m no expert, certainly, but I have visited Paris and other parts of France often enough to have noticed a pattern of contradictory delightful encounters with Parisians…yes!!!…Parisians! Most of them do speak English….no it’s no secret. The trick is unlocking that deadbolt that prevents them from wanting to stop everything they are doing and patiently direct you to the Sacre Coeur.

Firstly, as much as you may do this in New York, it is NOT recommended that you barge up to a Frenchman and swat him lightly on the arm as you rustle your map in his face and insist – with mouth chomping a hot croissant – that he show you where the nearest metro station is. (I have actually witnessed fellow Amurkins exhibiting this behavior!) Paris is, after all, the number one visited city in the world. They don’t really revel in being viewed and treated as glorified amusement park attendants.

The French people observe a rare traditional, cultural oddity you may have heard mentioned…called manners. I know…so archaic! If you embrace the idea that they are not rude, but merely a tad more formal than we are, you may start to recognize the trick to warming them up. You can try a blow torch, but I haven’t personally had much luck with that, except the resulting toasted baguette smell wafting to my happy nose… But really, we Americans are a warm, effusive, friendly bunch, in general and we like to think we can break the ice by a casual familiarity. Sure…after you offer the basic niceties.

Insert anecdotal story here:

My favorite visit, when I realized this key that we can all possess, was when I was traveling with my husband, sister and brother-in-law and they all relied on ME to navigate us through the jumbled, complex streets of Paris to our hotel. Of course we got off at the wrong metro station and found ourselves surfaced at a wild and busy intersection, dragging our luggage behind us…they all prodded me to ask directions and I stepped into a nearby bakery. They were thronged with customers and the very first words of French I could muster since my high school classes came out in a squeaky “Pardonez-moi, mada…” I couldn’t even finish muttering and she came around to my side of the counter, gesturing for my slip of paper that had the address of our hotel on it. She was then joined by milling co-workers who brought out a full-sized map book and they proceeded to bicker and argue amongst themselves as to how best to aid us in our quest for our lodgings…should we take the green line to the blue? Non non non, certainement PAS! The yellow line, only a block away had no transfers, bien sur! My family and I exchanged surprised and knowing glances. This certainly was not the stereotypical Paris experience. But I wasn’t about to demand a refund!

The Sacre Coeur, by the way

Once at the correct bustling hustling intersection…we still couldn’t orient which way was North to head the right way. The nearest gentleman again broke into English upon my feeble “Bon jour monsieur” and pointed us cheerfully in the right direction. It became a running joke of our trip that we were having trouble experiencing the “Infamous Parisian Snub”. Since then, I insist adamantly to any of my friends traveling to France to make the teensiest effort at civility, and then marvel at the magical results 🙂

“Whoever does not visit Paris regularly will never be elegant”  Balzac

Me, trying in vain to be elegant. Trocadero, Paris

I have provided some examples below:

Rather than: “Yo – where’s the Eiffel Tower?”
Always start with “Bon jour monsieur” or “Bon soir madame” It’s a greeting…you’ve heard of these, surely!
Better yet, try: “Excuse me sir/madame, do you speak English?”
Even better, try: “Excusez-moi monsieur/madame, parlez vous anglais?”
Rather than: “Can I get a half-caff grande no foam latte with three shots of vanilla to go?” (The “to go” idea of coffee will instantly get you snubbed – Why, pray tell, are you in Paris if not to sip and savor and linger in an outdoor cafe leisurely people watching?) But anyways…
Try: “Nevermind…I know not of what I speak”
or again: “Excusez-moi monsieur/madame, parlez vous anglais?”

OK really? I am not a language tutor, but dig out your little phrase book and after you have figured out a few phrases that politely greet and then inquire in French about directions, or cost, or what-the-heck-is-actually-IN-that-crepe..you will witness the charm and warmth of these cultured and cool people. Voila! Remember these are the people for whom the term joie de vivre (joy of life) was coined…put in a little effort, *please* and discover why 🙂

If you enjoyed this post and it’s deeply hidden tips, you may also like the story of my misadventures in Spain: Tongue-In-Cheeky Travel Tips: How to Catch a Bus in Barcelona

(All photos by G. Stark, except for the one of me as a child 🙂 )